I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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