He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
