My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I believe in your delicious
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
