She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize