Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
