Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize