my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
