So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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