Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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