when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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