All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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