he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
