I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
