my sisters under your porch take her home
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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