there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize