Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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