I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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