I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize