i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
