Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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