if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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