I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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