is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
