He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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