2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
