Having a random hookup so left but love u
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
