Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
