and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
