I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
