I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize