Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
