I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
