Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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