i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
