He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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