i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize