Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
