Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
