I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
