i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
