Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is

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(940): View more from Texas

Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

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(415): View more from California

Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift

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(440): View more from Ohio

no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two

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