Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
