I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
