Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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