Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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