is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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