I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
