so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
