Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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