I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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