It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
