sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
