All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
