Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize