he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
