you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
