Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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