it hurts more in the daytime
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
