you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
