He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
