she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
