The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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