what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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