4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
