All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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