If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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