i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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