Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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