Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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