i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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