i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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