my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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