Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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