He uses pillows to masturbate.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm having to shit out rocks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
