Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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