It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
