Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
